Category Archives: Context : the thoughts behind the blog.

The premise for my thoughts reside in a particular premises in my thinking.

Don’t Take Advice from Yourself If You Are Struggling In That Area.

It is absolutely possible that anyone who is struggling with starting a new business or struggling for years would find their own “logic” to argue any of the above statements I have made here. And that is EXACTLY the beliefs you hold that are causing all the struggle in business.

The above paragraph is from my last post on the lies people believe about starting your own business. The article was written as a reflection of part of a lesson I conducted and is also an excerpt for my upcoming book : How Never To Lose Money In Business Again.

I can foresee that when I put across any of the 7 Lies people believe about business it might trigger unconscious responses such as, “That’s easier said than done” or “my situation is different” or “it might work for you but you don’t know what it’s like in my business.”

Success principles are universal in nature. God doesn’t design life in such a way that He plays favorites. That a person even has those arguments coming up for them and are skeptical that something works is a reflection on what EXACTLY is going on in their mind that has caused the struggles with business in the first place.

If a success principle doesn’t work for you with the same level of ease it has for the other person it’s either because you have a very strong Affective Barrier in place OR your comprehension of the full message is incomplete.

Here’s what’s going to happen if you are convinced that the 7 Lies People Say About Business is actually true but first you must be sincere that you are convinced and then test your conviction by going out and speaking your truth and you will encounter the following :

  • it’s easier said than done
  • it might work for you / your area / at your age – but it won’t for me (insert excuse here)
  • if it were that easy everyone would’ve done it by now
  • my situation is different
  • I’ve tried that but it didn’t work out for me

and other related sentiments in that neighborhood.

Now, if all else fails they will then turn to you, the messenger and attack you : “What makes you think you are qualified to say this?” or they might dismiss the entire message by saying, “The writer / speaker is only saying that because it makes money for them but it’s not really true in their life.”

Alright, let me first take that last argument because that happens a lot to the nicest people I know – they really believe writers and speakers and trainers are out there to cream their convictions and make them pay to become believers. They honestly believe that the sole purpose of trainers, speakers and writers who write about business and wealth is to make money off them.

First things first : if you have anything against the idea of making money from another person that’s your clue on why you’re struggling to make more money or getting more lucrative ideas.

I can already hear the comeback, “OK, there’s nothing wrong with making money but you must offer value to people and be genuine, not lie.” 

It’s funny how people assume it MUST BE A LIE or a scam if it doesn’t work for them. I’m not saying scams don’t exist and people don’t lie in business but to me it’s almost impossible to not be able to see a scam or a lie unless we wanted to convince ourselves at some level that it is NOT a scam or a lie. Usually, it’s GREED that helps us convince ourselves it’s not a scam or a lie.

Now, back to people who think writers, speakers, trainers are only saying what they are saying to make money. We’ve now established that any belief that it is NOT OK TO DO SOMETHING FOR MONEY is a limiting belief, rather it is perfectly OK to do ANYTHING for money. And, yes,  some people CHOOSE to do self-destructive things that force them to live a life of darkness. If a person is an illegal organ harvester or a prostitute how are they going to tell their friends and families and fill up a tax form about what they really do? The person would be forced to live the consequences of choosing self-sabotaging means of making money. When a person lies their ability to evolve higher spirituality is thwarted. And what is the point of being born a human if we cannot experience the greater emotions of our divine self, of peace, love, safety, awareness and happiness?

The only time you should question yourself on whether or not it’s OK for you or anyone to make money a certain way is when your own morality is in question. If your own morality is not in question then you would not project that doubt and question other people’s morality. Now if you don’t doubt either your own morality or other people’s morality when it comes to making money then you will no longer hold any beliefs that go against, “It is perfectly OK to do a thing for money.”

The Message vs. The Messenger

The message and the messenger are two different things. A messenger, a writer or speaker, gets paid for their ability to craft a message for delivery. A writer spends time and effort researching and reporting and deserves to be paid for that effort to disseminate knowledge. They are not “selling” you absolute truth – they are being paid for their efforts to report on someone else’s truth, or the effort to tell their truth and packaging the story up with literary devices and eloquence. Would it constitute lying if the news they deliver, when checked against the archives of Time and Space, proved to be not 100% true? It wouldn’t if the writer or speaker feels no moral hesitation nor doubt what they are presenting and continue to believe in their rightful duty to report or deliver the message.

Does this mean we are not allowed to be skeptical of “the truth” spoken from a podium or by an authority?

First of all we need to understand that there is no such thing as “absolute truth” when it comes to the beliefs and opinion of one flawed human being versus another. There is just my version versus your version.

For a person who has a working model that comes effortlessly to them someone else’s lie, whether intentional or not, would be very obvious. Take language competence in English, for example. So many times I’ve come across people who have what I would describe “substandard” English, non-native but Caucasian looking people, or Asian people who have spent years abroad, teaching ESL. I’ve also come across foreigners who lie about their nationality without realizing that their accents, whether a feigned one or their original one, comes through in the way they put things in context or their choice of diction.

If one is competent in an area one would INSTANTLY be able to detect a non-working model. If I were very good at managing my finances I would be able to tell when a company or business is mismanaging their money. If I were good at making lucrative real-estate deals I would be able to tell when a deal would not turn out lucrative.

As such I would feel that skepticism isn’t necessary if you have mastery in that area. If you don’t have mastery and you got scammed or cheated just tuck it as an experience under your belt and work on that area of competence. This is true of love, of money and of relationships with people. So often I hear people claim they have been “hurt”, “jilted”, “rejected” or “betrayed” in things related to love/sex, money and relationships with other people.

I do know what it feels like to be hurt, to be rejected. And that is because I did not have mastery in the area of self-worth and self-love. Once I developed more competence in those areas it feels as if I now have a self-healing mechanism within where I get over a disappointment in a matter of minutes, or even seconds. I don’t take a lot of things personally and when I do I just check in with myself and learn the lesson.

Can We Trust People In Authority or Anyone In General? 

My short answer is : Yes.

The only person you need to ask that question to is yourself. Can you trust your own judgments on what you see, hear and believe? If you cannot it simply means you have not acquired enough information or mastery to be able to tell whether you can or cannot trust your own judgment.

A very common thing I hear in business is “the fear of trusting others”. One level down there is only the fear of not being able to trust yourself and there is usually a story behind that that goes FAR BEYOND a specific incident that triggered that “I told you so” response. If you can’t trust yourself and other people that’s a recipe to never be happy or feel safe and peaceful.

The End of Struggle and the Beginning of Mutual Respect.

A good reason to trust someone else is to look at where you’re STRUGGLING IN THAT AREA you’re asking for advice or solutions on. You’re struggling with something the other person is not struggling with and I will talk more about this in my next article on Hiring Good Employees.

I understand that a lot of scams are birthed from a premise of people needing solutions to areas they are struggling with. Rather than be wary or being ‘careful’ I suggest an attitude of going forth in life and then taking the lessons that come up. People struggle in finding love, reciprocity, meaning, direction and more wealth.  We have a choice to adopt a “be careful” attitude or adopt a “let’s see what’s the lesson here.” attitude. Any area we get “scammed” or  we feel we’ve lost out on in life is an opportunity for our shadows to come up to the light. And that is the whole purpose of life – not an accumulation of money and things but to experience a rebirthing from our shadows into our higher selfs.

 

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Filed under Context : the thoughts behind the blog., Education 2.0 for 2020, The thing about money

Free Tips To Help You If You Need It.

Hi there. I am going to make this a Sticky Post (this means, a post that will always remain on the front page of the blog).

Should you need some help or advice on :

– improving your writing skills

-helping children with reading

– improving English for Academic Purposes

– spelling

– pronunciation

– public speaking

– presentation skills

– Business English

– editing and clarity

-how to handle certain problems faced in the teaching of English either for individuals, groups or the classroom

– how to more effectively apply the use of English in your life

– improving your communication skills

– improving self-confidence

– whether it is even necessary to improve your English

or any other general help with regards to English – always feel free to leave a comment or email me at

englishforasians@gmail.com

While I do not guarantee (as no one faithfully can, because teaching and learning is more of an Art than a Science) 100% effectiveness when taking my advice (because I cannot accurately assess your situation and you may miss out on providing me with information that would have helped inform me better) I hope that it might be my small way of serving the needs of learners out there.

I’d like to add that I don’t give “technical advice” such as how to score higher or to explain terminologies or grammar rules because all this information is widely available on other sites.

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Have you read my blog recently?

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Filed under Context : the thoughts behind the blog.

Markets are Conversations.

This is a great book. If you haven’t read it yet and you’re either a business or an advocacy group trying to engage people to create the change you want to see in this world – try it.

When one person talks and the rest of us listen, either attentively or with reticence, it’s called a Lecture. When that lecture insists on not only presenting facts and ideas but claims its points to be the absolute truth, it’s a sermon. You get my point.

What inspired me to write this post comes from my inexperienced experience observing how people who want to change education can or cannot use social media for their means and ends. I want to share some observations which might be useful to people who are new to this.

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Filed under Context : the thoughts behind the blog., Future of Education, Quirks, Rethinking Parenting & Teaching

What a Parent Who Used To Be a Teacher Really Want to Say to Parents And Teachers.

I had a request from ********* to post the comments I had written on a fb comments thread on a CNN article What Teachers Really Want To Tell Parents.

In between the time it took for me to post this another article responding to it appeared here

The original responses I made on my fb comments thread on Sept 10 to the CNN article : What Teachers Really Want To Tell Parents  (as is) is in blue.  My expanded comments (for context) if necessary will be in Italics. 

I like the first line :

“I just cant deal with parents anymore; they’re killing us.”  

– Send the kids back to the parents. 😀  

Why don’t they? A parent is almost as qualified if not better qualified to teach their own children than a school teacher is – for many, many reasons outside the context of this article. Don’t believe me? Think about it logically : Both teachers and parents went through the same K-12 education. All things being equal they studied the same content. Unless you’re trying to tell me for 12 years of their education their teachers had pre-selected an elite bunch of students to teach better to knowing one day this elite bunch will become the next generation of teachers. – I doubt it!

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Filed under Context : the thoughts behind the blog., Danger School, On teachers, Rethinking Parenting & Teaching, schooling

Slowing the Paper Chase.

There are many things I know squat about. Like Romantic Love. Like Goddess Housekeeping. Like how to stay married beyond the 7-year itch. Like how to travel on a shoestring budget.  Or how to make an omelet in a ziplock bag while travelling by van without a stove. Or simply color-coordinating my clothes. (My principle for getting dressed is : (1) Is it clean? (2) Does it fit? (3) The more colors the better.)

Let’s cut to the chase. This is a post that gives me one of those, “I Told You So” moments.

I don’t usually read Malaysia MSM (mainstream media) but today I decided to buy the papers. On page 35 of the Nation section of The Star I saw an article that got me excited to post about : Slowing the Paper Chase.

The article begins with :

IN THE face of a changed labour market, Singapore may have decided to keep the local university population from increasing beyond current levels. The more cautious approach to higher education emerged from private talks that a senior education ministry official had with a US diplomat several years ago, according to WikiLeaks.

Key words : several years ago.

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Filed under Context : the thoughts behind the blog., Danger School, Downstream Parenting, Education 2.0 for 2020, ESL in Asia, Future of Education, Rethinking Parenting & Teaching, schooling, Up the ante on teaching

The reason I was never cut out for English Literature.

Two roads diverged in an open wood.

I looked down one as far as I could

and said, “Fuck it, no way”.

and looked down the other as just as fair

and said, “What the heck. If I don’t know where I’m going I’ll be glad to end up anywhere.”

 

But seriously –  two roads diverged in an open wood

and I was never in doubt about the one I eventually took

and once I chose I never bothered to look

back on the decisions I’ve made and stood

by and held on with a wing and a prayer.

 

I had only one desire

that I would die before my fire

why do so many walk on the black and trodden

beaten and misshapened path of Conformity?

How can people die a little each day

instead of die to themselves everyday and be rebirthed with a new zest for living?

 

Two paths diverged in an open wood and it is so obvious which one I took.

I now smack with an overdose of self-assuredness tempting you to hit me with a book!

I feel now as though I’ve never been in doubt;

about the path I’ve chosen and how things have turned out.

 

Two roads diverged in an open wood

Forget conformity and its rules of play

I took the one less travelled

And that, my friend, has made all the effing difference today.

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