Here’s how the cycle goes :
– You get excited over a new opportunity.
– You put in a lot of effort and become very enthusiastic over it
– Then things don’t turn out exactly as you expected it to
– And so your excitement dwindles
– And you feel all that resistance coming in and it takes more and more out of you to sustain the same level of effort and enthusiasm you had in the beginning
– So what happens is : you give up, you QUIT.
– And you pretend that it didn’t really matter anyway, that it was just a Dream, you got caught up in it and now you have to come back to “reality”.
– And so you become a bit cynical, and you hold yourself back from new opportunities. Maybe that’s your way of punishing yourself for your youthful exuberance.
– But the dream never really goes away. It takes time for wounds to heal and then the desire creeps back up.
– And then you start noticing new opportunities.
– And you get excited all over again.
The Good News
The good news is no matter how many times you have failed and no matter how old you are now that dream you had, that infatuation you fell into, that desire that gave you the push to take risks – that ability to Dream, it never goes away.
It will never go away.
The Bad News
The longer you push your dreams away the more you are betting against yourself and the higher the chances of you dying with your dream still inside of you.
So What’cha Gonna Do About It?
For pretty much most of my adult life I’ve lived around the 80th percentile of “my dream life” and for two reasons : (1) My dreams weren’t big enough that I always manage to achieve them (2) My contentment with life never reaches 100% fulfilment so there’s always enough space to create new desire.
Is It Really So Hard To Live Your Dream and Purpose?
I don’t think so. You just decide. You decide on freedom, you decide on money, you decide on children, you DECIDE and then you just go at it with a single-minded focus.
Oh, yes. Single-minded Focus.
That means to the exclusion of everything else that does not add to your effort including things that take away from your effort.
I Don’t Think You Go Out There To Find Your Dreams
I think you let your dreams find you. I think you grow yourself to be the kind of person that magnetizes your dreams to yourself. Some of the dreams I have include raising and loving a child, getting my freedom in my 30s onwards and to do something related to words and promoting. I also have this dream to build an alternative media marketing agency that makes the current ones obsolete. And throw in an education alternative as well that will make the current Industrial model obsolete.
And so I just created opportunities to do what I love.
But How Exactly To Do That?
I’ll give the same advice I gave my late father : let go of all your needs for a false sense of security. As long as you don’t have faith in yourself you will never be able to form a stable field of energy around you to attract to you that which you desire to manifest.
He asked me what about our college education : I told him, if we really wanted a college education we’d find a way to get a college education.
He asked me what would my mom think of him : I asked him what does he think she has thought of him over the years?
He asked me what if he fails? I told him that when failure is not an option – we cannot fail.
And He Died With His Dreams
And thanks to him he gave me every reason to never negotiate and second-guess myself when it comes to wanting the life that I want.
When I was a lot younger it was really tough to believe in myself because I did not have any claim to fame, I did not have any track record of success. But now at 38 and seeing myself triumph again and again against all those naysayers, going for what I want becomes natural, becomes automatic.
My Tips For Living Your Dream
First of all you have to get over this idea that your passion or your dream comes in a neat package delivered to your doorstep by DHL. That’s not how you “find” your dream or your purpose or your passion. Your dream or passion doesn’t fall on you like a hammer to an anvil. You don’t wake up one day with common certainty that “Eureka! I know what my dream is!” That kind of exuberance would last you a good sixty seconds to six days. By the seventh day you’re just defending it because you’re so afraid you would never have that moment of epiphany again.
Your passion and “dream” does not come with a user’s manual nor does it look like an IKEA assemble it yourself that arrives at your doorstep.
You don’t “find” your dream. It finds you. And when it does it becomes your compelling reasons. It becomes attracted to you. You magnetize all its bits to you. You become the perfect vehicle, the perfect peg, conduit for that Dream that it has no way but to find you and make you the architect of its ethereal element materializing and manifesting through you.
Finding your passion and your dream and purpose only comes from a natural extension of following your heart. The magic only happens after you take your first course of action. I didn’t know, 15 years ago, how I was going to have my ideal life come about. I didn’t know the HOW. But I had this vision in my mind of being able to write for money, of being able to promote things I love, of being able to use the computer to make money, of being able to work less than 4 hours a week without premises, without workers, without colleagues but within a community. I did have this vision, 15 years ago, of being able to find a way to make $50,000 a day and go on a shopping spree with my Play Jar.
People Are Always Worried They Can’t Live On Their Passion
1. Make MAKING MONEY a passion. When I started out as a field interviewer for a couple of Market Research companies it wasn’t because I was passionate about marketing or about research – it was because they paid well for my situation at that time and gave me the freedom and flexibility I needed. But why that versus, say, prostitution? Well, because I had the foresight to calculate the risks and opportunity costs. I had a better chance of succeeding in making more money in the field of marketing or consumer behaviour research once I’m in my 30s onwards than I would – prostituting. Law of Diminishing Returns apply.
Make MAKING MONEY your passion as long as it doesn’t go against your natural elements and personal code.
I had a need, at that point of my life, to experience non-routine situations and a job that would bring me outdoors. Even though jobs such as supermarket retail assistant existed side by side with a job like doing field research standing for 10 hours a day listening to Parkson jingles run repeatedly would cause me to become criminally insane. I’d rather travel 10 hours a day to some kampung in Sekinchan. One experience will eventually become the scaffolding for the next experience until you reach a place where you leapfrog into your business or industry of choice. Just don’t fall in love with the job.
Money making opportunities are there for us to make money not build our lives around them. You don’t work on the job – you work on developing YOU. You don’t develop yourself just to get a promotion. You develop yourself so that you become an asset for lucrative opportunities out there.
2. Learn how to Market Yourself. Whether you’re an artists, a dancer, a writer, a cook, a baker, a hairstylist, a teacher, a therapist, – the #1 Skill You Need To Have is the ability TO MARKET YOURSELF AND YOUR SERVICES. And that includes the natural ability to promote yourself and your services and to close a sale.
If you know how to Market Yourself doing what you love should not be a problem.
The problem for a lot of people who “follow their passion and dreams” is that they focus on the production and fulfilment part. They focus on being good at their particular skill set, to be the “best” in their category. For instance, for those whose passion is to better the education system, they go and get more advanced degrees and do more research and waste their time trying to get more funding. Or they open a learning center or school (been there, done that) and have this belief that as long as they have the most caring teachers, the best programs, they’re going to make it big in business.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
1. Your dreams are never going to go away. You have only two choices : die with your dreams inside of you or die trying.
2. Your passion /dream doesn’t come in a neat package one sweet day so stop waiting for that big voice from Heaven that gives you the commandment. You choose what you want your dream to look like and start moving towards it. You develop yourself to become the perfect conduit to channel that vision through you.
3. Make MAKING MONEY your passion. You can make money from anything that has a value to others. There are some skills you need to pick up and some beliefs you need to dissolve but you can make money from anything. I would suggest to pick the low hanging fruits.