When parents and educators screw up, it’s you who pays with your future.

As both an educator and a parent, I can say this : When parents and teachers screw up, it’s the children who grow up and pay the price in the future. Give me one example of a person who says, “I am so lucky to have great, loving, supportive, strong and intelligent parents and teachers” but is not successful. You won’t be able to.

But among your friends who are fearful and frustrated in life, you’re going to be able to identify those who feel both their parents’ life and their education had failed them. All successful people are successful because their parents knew what they were doing. Successful people are successful because they didn’t choose the wrong mentors/teachers to listen to. Successful people often describe themselves as “lucky”. They made their own luck.

I have to say I wasn’t very lucky because I didn’t have great parents and I never had a mentor. But I’m quite lucky because I had a lot of time and space and was born with a natural tendency to not fear much. It has compensated for a lot of deficiencies a person in my shoes would otherwise have.

It’s usually not enough to have ONE great parent while the other is an “absent parent”. You need both parents to be in a healthy relationship. In the case of divorce or parental death, then you need an emotionally healthy single parent.

If you’re a parent reading this, then you have to take a deep look at yourself whether you’re TRULY being a great parent. Simply making a living and putting food on the table isn’t good enough anymore. You need to find a balance between informed and misinformed opinions about how to lay the foundation for your child’s success.

If you’re a young person reading this and your parents are not the first people you turn to when you need someone to talk to, it’s time to consider how much of your future success will be affected by what’s going on. If you’re a student and you don’t have at least ONE mentor who can build you up in areas where you feel is lacking, you’re as good as a goner.

Recently, there’s been a lot of news on suicides, violent attacks and deaths and violent hate-crimes in Penang and elsewhere in Malaysia.Doesn’t it make you wonder, what sort of people were they while they were students? Don’t you think their entire frustration and failure in life was already decided and set in motion when they were in school? Don’t you think the new mother who jumped to her death leaving her 3-month old baby behind already had a life set up for failure even back when she was in school?

I know this is a sensitive subject, but I’m going to talk about it anyway. A lot of people think that once they leave school, they can “start a new life” and hopefully, succeed in doing it. I know a lot of 20 something, 30 something and 40 something, etc. Sure, they’ve left schooling and their family behind. But their schooling and their family never left them.

Many people who left school “hopeful” to succeed in life, won’t. The simple reason is this : your chances of success in life was already determined BEFORE you left school and it has NOTHING TO DO with your academic results or how hard or not you worked in school.

Successful people usually have 2 things : Loving, supportive parents and an ability to not let their schooling life affect them. If you’re a person who feels “trapped by exams and school” but don’t have a choice to leave or you’re a person who badly depends on school results to tell you how good you are, you can be sure your future is not going to look very bright.

If you have one or both parents who did not truly care about your well-being and feelings, I’d say, sayonara to a bright future too. You can say that you believe hard-work can make a difference. But tell that to the millions of people who work really hard but end up feeling like a loser anyway. My father was one of them. Do you also know of someone you think is really hard working but feels frustrated with life?

Working hard is a story they tell you at school and like many other things your teachers and school tell you, you’re going to realize it’s only information that’s going to screw you up. The basic 3 for success that has to come, one then another : Great parents, recovery from schooling, mentor to compensate for your deficiencies.

There’s some really bad news for those who don’t have great parents or constantly feel a fear of schooling and exams : you’re going to end up with A LOT MORE DEFICIENCIES. While someone else may only need 1 mentor to help them complete one aspect of their life, you’re going to need to find A LOT OF MENTORS to help you fill up your deficiencies. All my life I never believed hard work, saving money and obeying the rules was the secret to success.

It’s time you start examining the things your parents were taught about in school and which your school is now teaching you : Is working hard in school, working hard in life and saving money the true secret of success? If it’s really the parents who affect their children, shouldn’t we stop playing Russian roulettes with our children’s futures?

I know a lot of hardworking,honest people and I know a lot of smart, talented people too. I know a lot of people who were good students in school and I know a lot of people who are kind, loving and generous. But they’re not successful. So please, wake up. It’s the parents who decide how happy and adaptable children grow up to be. And that’s pretty much the only thing that sets in motion the rest of the “lucky shots” the child is going to grow up and get in life.


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Filed under Danger School, Rethinking Parenting & Teaching, schooling

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